Today's challenge was to talk about my "best love and what they mean/meant to me". Lots of possibilities rumbled through my head on this one. Who do I talk about? My mom as my first bestie or my dude as my love for life? Then I thought...my best love is and will always be......ME!
It took a long time for me to realize that the best love that I have received (more of this later in my life) has been from me. I'm a people pleaser - less now than before (hence the tragedy of my first love experience). I longed to be loved, liked, appreciated, valued and being someone that mattered to someone - I'll dig a little deeper on this a bit later in the month. Anyway, I got to a point somewhere along my life's journey to not care about getting absolution from others but attaining that level of bliss from myself. I will always value others in my life and their opinion but it doesn't define me and how I value my self worth. I do that. I set the bar for who I am as an individual - flaws and all. Love me for the "me" that I am at the moment as I am a work-in-progress.
Like many people you go through this downward spiral of self hatred, perfection seeking and desperate longing to be loved. You forget that the external approval is not as important as accepting and loving who you are unconditionally. This is a huge moment for me to say that I LOVE me as I am. I lived most of my life feeling like I always came up short by being one of the undesirables (not attractive enough, too tall, too skinny, too imperfect, not smart enough, etc.). I was my worst enemy. I destroyed myself without the help of bullies b/c of my low self-esteem. With the fog of negativity, I couldn't see the goodness that resided in me.
Nowadays I see "me" and love her. She is a beautiful woman and strong in her resolve. She is smart, multi-talented and true to who she is (imperfections included). I love her for being my rock! When all else fails whether it be people around her or goals, she will overcome - dust off and proceed. I love this!
For her to come from self deprecating the woman in her at every given moment to, on many occasions, looking herself in the mirror recognizing her beauty (internally and externally), this shows her growth and strength! For that, she is my best friend...best face of love....best love period.
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